An interesting thing happens when you speak to hundreds of people who have ended relationships because their partner cheated; you actually learn how to have an affair. I have actually been asked by those in relationships to share with them how to have an affair so they don't get caught! For the record, I do not condone planning an affair or extra-marital relationships. I believe if you're contemplating cheating, my advice is to always try and solve your issues BEFORE you decide to stray, or end your relationship first. Nonetheless, for those of you choosing to explore an outside relationship, this article is for you.
Choose your partner wisely:
Most people choosing to have an affair do NOT want to get caught. There's multiple reasons why you justify an outside relationship such as feeling neglected, poor communication, lack of passion, boredom, not enough sex, disappointment in your partner or you've met someone you just can't resist but don't want to leave your comfortable home life. Typically YOU want to be in control of the arrangement and be upfront with the person you are cheating on your partner with. Make it crystal clear to the person you are having an affair with, what the rules are. You will run the risk of playing the star role in your own soap opera if you don't. Choose someone whose relationship expectations are in line with yours. Avoid people who may not be emotionally stable or show signs of neediness.
Do Not Change Your Normal Routine At Home:
People who get caught having affairs are those who all of a sudden change things about their appearance and their life routine all at once! Meaning you change your schedule (start coming home late) buy new clothes and change your hair style. When these things all at once; the red flags go up in your partner noticing that "something is different". Your partner will naturally suspect something is going on and will want to get to the bottom of things. When you introduce change, do it gradually and communicate it to your partner. Although your motivation may be for a different person, the irony is your partner will benefit as well if you include them in your changes. I've often heard men say to me "She started working late and changed her look without telling me. She seemed distant towards me and this is when I knew something was up." Keep all things normal and give your partner the same attention as you would have without the new person in your life.
Have an Ally or Alibi:
We all have that ONE person who we tell everything to. This may be difficult when you're contemplating cheating on your significant other, but if you have a trusted person who "has your back", then it makes life a whole lot easier when it comes to getting away. Many cheaters I've encountered in the past often said they would use the excuse of being out with their best-friend having dinner, or a girls night or guys night out. Why would your partner question this when it's part of your normal routine. If you're thinking of how to have an affair, you need to be thinking of activities and things you participate in which take you out of the house. Perhaps you have a weekly movie night out, or you join an interest group such as "Meet-Up". Other activities like going shopping , getting a massage or facial, heading over to a Starbucks or Chapter's will allow you some time away from home without having to make up too much when you return from your rendezvous.
So there are some top tips on how to have an affair for those of you looking to have an outside relationship without getting caught. You could also try dating your partner and finding ways to spice up you current love life before deciding to cheat. You may be pleasantly surprised at how fun & exciting things can be when you put your energy and heart into it.