You think you want to swing? Do you daydream about having two girls at once? Do you want to see your girlfriend with another woman? Maybe you want to see her with another man while you take on another woman and join in for sloppy seconds?
If you want to make your dreams a reality, you have to ask yourself if you love the dream enough to risk ruining your relationship. Relationships more secure than yours have failed after this carnal experiment because not only is it a lifestyle change, but it will change your relationship for good. This isn't a decision you can make over a light lunch.
Like losing your virginity, once it's given, it's gone. Swinging is a choice that has unknown ramifications and unforeseen consequences and benefits. This kind of activity has no certain result: You can either destroy your relationship or enhance it. Think of swinging as the extreme where there's no in-between. You can decimate and obliterate your happy relationship or you can find the lifestyle you've been searching for. The choice, as always, is with you and your love. If you choose to go with it, here are some tips for leading a successful swinging lifestyle.
Know why you want to try it
When any decision can have such potentially damaging possibilities, it is very wise to question what your motivations are. People get into swinging for a variety of reasons. Maybe you're tired of having the same, predictable sex life that comes with a long-term, monogamous relationship.
Maybe your woman wants to explore her Sapphic side or you both want to get to know your sexual selves by experimenting with others. Maybe you both have lusty desires to see your partner with another woman or man, acting out hidden fantasies and kinks.
Want to explore that BDSM side? Want to try a little domination or role-playing? Adding people to the party brings with it different experiences. It is extremely important to understand your wishes, wants and hopes for this lifestyle change. It would be the height of irresponsibility and utter disrespect to your partner if you both did not carefully examine why you want to do this.
Even the strongest relationships often don't survive this choice. The reality is that neither of you can predict how you'll feel after seeing or knowing that your loved one was with another person. You can destroy yourself and your love with nagging insecurity that ravages with unparalleled pain. You can not know how each of you will feel, think or wonder after you do this, so please think about this carefully and define your reasons for wanting to try it.
Now that you've gone through the pros and cons and made your list of reasons for doing it, you're ready to begin your alternative lifestyle. But what do you do now?
We're lucky that we live in a digital world. The internet has grown to such proportions that, at any given time, we can find whatever we're looking for whenever we want it. Conduct a Google search on swinging and you will get more sites than you know what to do with.
From clubs, to how-to articles, to locations of parties and people in the swinging community, you'll find all the information you need online so you can discover and enjoy like-minded individuals.
You can join an online community, post personal ads, respond to many others seeking the same, and learn everything you want to know by using the internet. You'll find that there are many different types of swingers and swinging. There are bi-curious females, heterosexual couples, gay or lesbian couples, and fetishists. Clubs are nearly everywhere, and etiquette is key.
This standard applies to the digital community as well as your geographical one: Treat others with respect and accept "No" graciously. You can and will ruin your reputation if you walk into a club expecting to have consensual sex with whomever you please. It's just like any other club, albeit with more sexual freedom. It still requires that its patrons operate under the yes/no policy. When a man or woman says "No," back off. There are no ifs or buts about it. Don't ask why they declined, just move on.
Think of some of the most outrageous parties you've been to: Have you seen women chained to walls, naked people meandering about, people having sex on the floor, orgies on the table, people conversing while intimately fondling someone else, people in costumes or role-playing, and moans and groans of pleasure rocking the house or club? This can be a typical scene if you decide to become a swinger.
You must keep in mind, however, that rules vary from party to party and club to club. You need to make knowing them a priority before you walk in. House parties tend to be more informal and gratuitous in their decadence. They abide by the rules of the person throwing the event, so know the limits of the party you're attending. A club may have more stringent regulations to generally protect everyone involved.
Depending on your preferences, the house party is more intimate, being a smaller space, but a club may offer amenities the house party can't. With more money being made at clubs, things like security, cleanliness, and safety may be made more paramount. For instance, there could be washers and dryers on-site to clean the towels you will use, rather than the dubious house party with towels lying indiscriminately.
Some house parties and clubs have their spaces divided into rooms where naked people frolic, rooms where semi-dressed or costumed people roam about, a room with an open orgy for anyone to join, and a fetishist BDSM room a few doors down.
To best follow the rules of the house or club, you must find out which rooms offer enjoyment to people wanting to fondle and squeeze, and which rooms require explicit permissiveness. Don't touch, take or taste without that person's and their partner's permission.
The decision is black and white; there's no grey when it comes to choosing a swinging lifestyle. If you and your partner decide to swing, you better have great communication skills and inherent honesty with each other. Without either of these components, this foray into sexual exploration will end up in dismal tragedy.
Swinging is not for the relationship that has even a kernel of insecurity, distrust, dishonesty or jealousy. This type of sexual freedom only exists within the narrow confines of a truly trusting relationship. There is no in-between. Good luck in whatever you decide, and make your choice with eyes wide open because you never know how things will turn out until after it all happens.